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Fumy lesbian movies12/24/2023 ![]() ![]() Thank goodness these women had the life they had. I think about people who never had the chance to come out to themselves. I think a lot about how many generations of people were made unable to both pursue queer relationships and have those queer relationships not be endangered, so this documentary just brought up so many of those feelings. I know it was supposed to be inspiring and heartwarming, which it was, but I also was heartbroken. It’s about two women who had been together for nearly 7 decades, when they started dating in the 40s, and they spent most all of those decades closeted to their families. I watched A Secret Love the other day, which is a tearjerker for sure. Which I can control myself by stepping away from Netflix or Hulu for a second. I just want a teeny tiny break, that’s all. And sadness, anger, and disappointment is critically important to giving us signals for what needs to change. I think it’s a reaction I’m personally having from watching so much of those stories all the time. So, I don’t think what I’m saying is so much a problem caused by filmmakers from the sapphic gaze, in their just endeavors for making realistic stories. But when I watch media, I sometimes want to be transported into a world in which being gay is not considered an “alternate” identity. I know this is the reality of queerness in real life, and I’m a writer who writes about these commonplace struggles too. Sometimes someone is still in the closet, or dealing with internalized queerphobia. With every flirting and dating experience depicted on screen, there’s often challenges that transcend the normal trials and tribulations of romance. I’m talking about the second kind of media, and how it makes me sad. I try to not even bother with the first kind of media, because I’m over that. I’ll make another clarifying statement - there’s the media that suggests that queerness is a problem and therefore has consequences of challenges, and then there’s media that tells the truth that society imposes the challenges on individuals and groups and therefore is the problem. It’s rare that I see something sapphic that does not acknowledge how hard society makes it to…you know…be a sapphic person.
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